I Can't Stop Watching the Olympics

I initially had planned to do only one post about the Olympics, but seeing as that sporting spectacle is now totally consuming my life, I had no other choice but to write about it again. Since we are now a week into competition, it seems to be a fitting time to reflect on what I have absorbed from hours and hours of viewing thus far. While NBC insists on pretending synchronized diving, swimming, beach volleyball, and gymnastics are the only sports at this year’s Games, there actually have been plenty of notable moments in other sports. Here’s what I’ve learned while compulsive flipping through the NBC family of networks over the past few days:

• Team USA men’s basketball is better than I thought. In my last post about the Olympics, I asked that someone call me when Team USA won a game by more than 68 points. I honestly wasn’t expecting to hear that phone ring, but last night the squad-who-we-may-actually-have-to-start-comparing-to-the-Dream-Team accomplished a feat that I did not think was possible. The Americans defeated Nigeria 156 to 73—a whopping 83-point margin of victory. Records were falling as quickly as the threes out there, sending a clear message to the other teams and to haters at home (like me) that this team is for real.
• Boxing people are not happy with the way boxing is going. The commentators on CNBC’s coverage have been nothing short of perpetually incredulous over the scoring and officiating at this year’s boxing competition. The sport has been mired in controversy; one referee was expelled from the Games after a match between fighters from Japan and Azerbaijan was not called fairly. Even though I don’t understand a lot about boxing, I’ve had to stop my channel surfing several times just to hear what the commentators have been shouting about. It has been some of the most frank and critical sports commentary I’ve seen in some time, which I think is fantastic. 
• Water polo looks exhausting. Not only do the players have to swim the length of the pool over and over again, then tread water whilst catching and shooting a ball, they must also fend off opponents who are ostensibly attempting to drown them. It’s an entertaining sport to watch, but the odds of me heading down to the local pool for a little friendly game of water polo are next to none.
• The sport of badminton has some explaining to do. Whether you’re on the middle school basketball team or playing croquet with your cousins in the backyard, throwing matches isn’t a good look. Doing it on the biggest stage of the sport, while the whole world is watching, is unconscionable. Regrettable incidents like this one lead to questions of whether a sport which is usually only contested at family picnics should be at the Olympics at all.
• Handball is a highly underrated sport. It combines elements of basketball, hockey, and soccer, so there’s a little something for every sports fan. The game is surprisingly physical and the men’s and women’s competitions have been equally compelling to watch. Here’s hoping my boys from Iceland are able to keep rolling and take home the gold after finishing with the silver in 2008.

• Fencing is entirely lost on me. While there is something alluring about the bizarre lighting of the platform and the Power Rangers-esque body armor (which lights up!), I have no idea where the points come from and I can’t figure out strategy or technique in any way, shape, or form. While I’m sure there will be plenty more fencing in the next week, I will not be tuning in.
• Bradley Wiggins is tearing up the world of cycling. After dominating the Tour de France just days ago, the man the Brits call ‘Wiggo’ took home the gold in the road cycling time trial event, and it wasn’t particularly close. His stature is sure to continue to rise, especially when people get at look at his awesome sideburns.
• Soccer needs to change its age restrictions. Limiting the men’s soccer competition to players in the under-23 bracket (with three exceptions) but allowing the women’s game to include the best players regardless of age creates a great imbalance between the two events. In one, you have the best players in the world competing on a huge stage, so it naturally will be a big deal. In the other, you have a few select young players that aren’t on many of the elite national teams, and even fewer big names that get people excited about tuning in. Something is obviously off when Spain, whose real national team are the undisputed champions of Europe (and maybe the World), couldn’t even get out of the group stage. Perhaps the International Olympic Committee is worried a full-fledged World Cup-type of Olympic tournament would overshadow the other sports [via roommate’s contribution]. However, the Olympics should be about seeing athletes perform their respective sports at the highest level, regardless of age or any other arbitrary restriction. Either allow everyone to play, or don’t waste time putting on a soccer tournament at the Olympics.
• Archery is the best sport at the Olympic Games. It is fast-paced, suspenseful, the rules are pretty simple, and you can watch a full match in the time it takes to brew a cup of coffee. There are also tons of bucket hats, if you are into that kind of thing. Shout out to the American men’s squad, who came away with a surprise silver medal, defeating archery powerhouse South Korea before barely losing the gold medal match to a tough Italy squad.
• The fact that table tennis, equestrian, and judo are part of the Olympics, but sports like cricket, rugby, squash, racquetball, and lacrosse are not, is downright shocking. I think someone should do something about this.

While I can say at this time that I don’t plan on writing any more about the Olympics, considering my weekend schedule will be filled with nothing but high jumps, hammer throws, and handball, I won’t make any promises. Enjoy the Olympics, folks, because before you know it, we’ll be back to baseball and counting down the hours until the XXXI Olympiad kicks off in Rio.